


you must be a Weasley

by TheTartWitch



Series: just having a bit of a laugh at your expense [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Cracky, Fluff and Crack, Funny, Gen, Harry with Lily's hair, I love the idea of Arthur sometimes forgetting exactly how many children he has, and James' eyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 05:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13991721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTartWitch/pseuds/TheTartWitch
Summary: basically just funny stuff that might have happened if Harry had taken more after Lily than James in hair and eye color.literally crack don't take this seriously.





	you must be a Weasley

When he’s young the house is very, very quiet without Dudley to keep up the chatter. Petunia despises magic, makes up her mind to drag it out of her sister’s boy kicking and screaming, and she’s fully prepared to allow her husband to use force if necessary.

But that all changes when the boy’s dark black hair falls out and a vibrant red mane grows in instead. The boy’s eyes aren’t Lily’s green, but they’re focussed, driven, and the first time Vernon raises a hand to discipline the boy she shouts at him. Everyone freezes, because Petunia doesn’t raise her voice, has never told Vernon not to hurt the boy, but now she is. If the boy was a little bit less like Lily...but he isn’t. Her dead sister is haunting her, clinging to the edges of her life with white knuckles. With magic, she knows, anything is possible.

\--

On the Hogwarts Express, when their compartment’s door flies open to reveal the blonde boy from Madam Malkin’s with his stuffy introduction, Ron laughs. Harry grins a bit, simply because his name is so terribly stuffy and he’s a bit of a ponce, which of course attracts attention. Malfoy turns on him, eyes flicking over him in precise, practiced motions.

“And you think my name’s funny too, do you?” He snaps, and before Harry can deny it, he continues, “Well, there’s no need to ask who  _ you  _ are. Red hair, hand-me-down clothes, no manners? You must be a Weasley.” 

Ron about dies laughing at that even as he’s angry, to Malfoy’s confusion.

\--

In the summer after first year Harry is rescued from his relatives by the Weasley twins and Ron and rides in a flying car to the Burrow, where he eats a calm breakfast and Molly Weasley shouts at her children.

When Arthur Weasley finally trots down the stairs after the rest of his children still living in the house, he takes a seat at the table, glances around the table, looks down, and then quickly has to look around again, having miscounted the number of his children still at the table.

Finally, he locates the cause in the form of a young redheaded boy with calm hazel eyes sitting a little bit away down the table’s length. 

“And what’s your name?” He asks cautiously, wondering if he had already been introduced and simply forgotten, which was obviously terribly rude.

Fred and George laughed. “Come on Dad, don’t tell us you’ve forgotten Harry?”

“What about Mary, or Lisa, or Tom, or Jerry?”

“Come on, Dad!”

He felt as though he’d perhaps missed something.

**Author's Note:**

> this was intended to be funny.   
> if anybody wants to shoot me a link to a funny Harry Potter tumblr text post they think I should make into a fic I am literally all about that. That's what this series is going to be for.  
> (conversely if you'd like to recommend a fic like this you think was good please do I'd be very happy thanks! :)


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